it's like you never exsisted

there is no trace of you being in my life, ever.

Teal

I was surrounded by walls of teal. Outside, the houses across the street created an illusion of mountains, and I watched the sun dissapear behind them. I was surrounded by shades of blue. Outside, the sky had went from light blue and was darkening into deeper shades of blue until it became black. I was surrounded by serenity as the calming music cascaded through the room, through our ears and into our hearts. I felt the warmth as we shared the moment, forever captured by my senses.

I HATE HOW

One thought leads to another and miraculously it leads to you.
And it leads to tears.
It leads to sadness.

This keeps happening to me. I should be happy right now. Why does that one little thought lead to aching?
Just. I don't know.

Lists

Whenever I make a list with someone, I never complete it.
Lists like that make me sad.
It's like a recipe for disaster almost. A recipe for things that will never happen. Lists jinx things, sort of.
Like July 17, 2011. I don't think that's going to happen.
-Letting go of 99 balloons
-Having breakfast at Denny's
-Going to SEAWORLD and seeing Shamu
-Playing basketball with Patrick Chewing
-Going to Harry Potter world
-Camping
-Making dinner
-Looking at stars.
"You're as fun as the day at the zoo!"

And my list with YOU, HAHA they are never going to happen.
- Watching The Notebook together. I still have the borrowed dvd, just in case..
- Seeing the sunrise. Cross that off the list, I did that with my best friend.
- lots more things that will never happen..

DC,

You are the only guy who told me they love my singing voice.
I kind of believed you.
You were the only one who has appreciated it, also.
You were the only one who actually liked hearing my voice..
You were the only one.

And it makes me sad.

Why, why

You didn't make it into the present. So why do I think of the past?

hate dream

kirby came over with lyanne and mandy and sami were also here. i was excited because i had never met lyanne befoe and i thought she was really pretty irl. i didnt know they were together until they started holding hands and started making out right in front of me. i was furious. i thought kirby came to settle something, but he just brought lyanne to make out with her. i layed down by sami and i yelled in frustration and they finally stopped making out. while i tried telling him about how we should settle something he just sat there blankly. suddenly they got up to leave and i said to lyanne "it was so nice meeting you" in the most monotone voice.

all my other dreams were interrupted.