:the time where i wont see you is worth waiting

Tit hair, you are meeting the requirements of being the kind of guy i need/want.

I like how I can joke around with you. That's what my friends like about us; the way we act with each other. I'm glad we're not all up on each other anyway. It's not only good for us but everyone around us as well. I like how you always try to give me a wet willie but I end up beating you to it. It's cute how you can be like a little boy sometimes, like when you kept asking when Jacob was going to turn into a lon. It's cute. I like how you are actually wiling to watch movies with me, not just because of me but for the movie it self. I like how you have your own style and I have mine. I like the things that make us different. You are a bboy, you are too cool, and you are super duper muscular! And I am none of those things! I like how you aren't cliche. I like how you stick out your lips when you want a kiss, but when we'r in public I act like I'm going to give you one, but I don't. I think that's funny. I like how you brought like 3 outfits with you yesterday and changed 3 times. I like how you bitch at your mom, that's funny. I like the feeling when I'm with you. I like how you don't have to be cautious about what you're wearing and how you act when you're around me. I like how I can act totally stupid with you and you'll either be stupid with me too or make fun of me. I like how you lay down on me because I like running my fingers through your hair.

I like you.

dream 2

the first dream i can recall was being in the car with kirby and holding his hand while he was driving.

the second dream; i was in church and rex sat next to me. he layed down and i asked him what was wrong. he was depressed from the party last night when everyone was so happy to see karl and not him.

the third dream; i was in chemistry and i was holding hands with marc ventura.

--
the second dream is LOL because i can really see that happening irl.

dream 1

okay im going to keep track of my dreams here.
--

i was at someone's house, but i don't remember who it was. but someone was under the covers, and it was darryl! i pulled the sheets and there he was but he was shielding his face from me and i said, "OMG IM MEETING YOU FOR THE FIRST TIME, HELLO."

then i had another dream that i was at school walking around. veronica kept following me but i didn't pay attention to her so she was crying and telling everyone i'm a bad person.

then i had another dream that i was at this shopping center that looked like lynnhaven mall but part of it wasn't. i was with sami and a lot of other people. there was an outdoor like restaurant and i was going to share a meal with rochelle. i threw my purse at her and told her to buy whatever she wanted because my nose started bleeding. the bathroom was in the opposite side of the mall so i had to power walk through the whole mall. i walked hrough a restuarant and people were saying "she's crying, she's crying!" since i was just cupping my hands to my face. i walked past sami and she thought i was leaving her. by the time i got to the bathroom, my nose stopped bleeding and there wasn't any blood. but when i got back outside it was raining mad hard.
everyone was calling their parents to pick them up and sami asked me if i wanted a ride. i didn't say anything to her because i was talking to my mom on the phone and she was already nearby. so i went with my mom and we ended up in some unfamiliar shopping center. we parked by a shoe department store with a banner that said "you can have fun with your camera here"

and then i woke up.

I wish

you cared.

our conversation

-Do you have time to talk?
-Sure.
-How was your day?
-tiring
-I wrote this so I wouldn't forget. Do you have anything to say?
-I don't know.
-Here are your clothes.
-Thank you. Bye.
-Bye.

find

Through out all the realizations I've had, I always find myself here. And I want out.

why

is a part of me STILL HOLDING ON TO YOU when i know i shouldn't be? GTFO

wowww

you.are.a.dick. HAHA. but so are your friends. oh wellllll. but seriously though you were never this mean before. you just marshed by mellow, dude. fuck you.

CONDENSED.

Really, something like this can't be discussed while walking in the hallway in less than 5 minutes. It's something that can't be discussed while walking out the doors of the church before going home. I've been thinking of what to say for months, when I realized that this was what I needed to do. I've attempted to talk to you so many times, but none of those attempts seemed to be the right time.

"What do you need to talk about? Is it bad? I'm trying to forget the past."
"However you percieve it to be.."

Your choices are unhealthy, you don't know. The past is something you can't brush off. You have to accept, and you cannot deny. That's what you and I have been doing for almost a year. We've been living in denial, of what we used to be and what we shared. We can regret but what has been done will be done forever, so we can only reflect. But you pushed everything away, everything you knew and you REGRESSED. I've accepted. It's time you do. When will you grow up?

since i dont have the balls to say it to you irl

FUCK YOUUUUUUUUU.
THE CAUSE OF MY UNHAPPINESS
LITTLE BITCH

NOTHING

You are nothing but a memory to me.

GOAL:

Find happiness in simple things, rather than inside of people.
Cease the bitterness.
Clean my room.

fading

You're jaded. You're fading. You're breaking. But I saw you, through your eyes. My best friend is still there and I will stop you from fading.

okayyy, so

"we'll see what happens"
i only hate that line because it caused me a lot of pain before. i was scared that i would have to go through that again. but i don't, considering that we were never really together, but we still had something there no doubt about that.
aaaaaand this
is where apathy comes in.

its funny how A LOT OF THINGS can change in the course of two weeks.

I don't want

to be called beautiful. sexy. pretty. I don't want to be told that I looked "good." I don't want comments on my outward appearance. I don't want to hear the same things I've heard from others, that they have also said to others. I don't want repeats. I want some fucking originality.

talking to you,

was nice.
you haven't changed one bit, you jerk =D

"Hopeless Romantic

Hopeless Romantic
is the type of lover I am. I love & I love HARD. I believe in happy endings & finding my prince. I’m all for that mushy gushy stuff, that sappy shit, that butterflies in my stomach, that having our ” own ” song bullshit, celebrating anniversaries, surprises & little things that count moments, kisses on the forehead, cuddling even when it gets SO hot that you don’t want to but you can’t let go ‘cause you’re stuck ( but in a good way ), living the dinner & a movie life, lip syncing to the oldies, cooking for each other like old married couples, telling each other our most embarrassing moments, flirting like it’s the first day we met, looking into each others’ eyes for days & seeing nothing but a reflection of ourselves because we don’t see each other with anybody else, loving so hard that it comes so easy, that Shihan me-thinking-of-you-thinking-of-me type love, ALL OF THAT & more.

Yeah, that’s me."

-chelseababy



zang zanggg me too!

wow, life

give me a high five.
so
much
irony
its so bittersweet!

you're so inconsiderate!

i'll always have this horrible feeling about you.
you're so demanding.
i don't like you, i don't know why i still talk to you.
i wonder WHY all my friends hate you.
hahaha look at yourself, please.

wow, you have so much expectations

you're making yourself sad.
don't get too excited, or excited at all because i don't want this going anywhere.